I knew before I sat down in the tiny chair in my child’s classroom that sitting was a mistake. The chair was clearly designed for a little 2-year-old’s bottom. My own bottom was decidedly bigger, which became even more painfully obvious when I later attempted to stand back up and the chair, well, sort of came with me. I was stuck in a chair, in front of my child’s teacher. Yeah, I’m not going to forget that parent/teacher conference moment any time soon. Parent-teacher conferences are a surprisingly emotional event for me. Not only is there the crushing nostalgia of being back in a cheerful kids’ classroom, but there are the emotions that come with seeing just how much my kid is growing and learning at school. Plus, given who my kid is, there is also the tiny bit of anxiety I feel about the inevitable moment when the teacher tells us he talks too much in class (every. single. conference). More from CafeMom: 16 Hilariously Inappropriate Kid Homework Fails Since nothing makes me feel better than hearing about other people’s embarrassing parenting moments, I decided to ask some of my closest mom friends about their own ridiculous, embarrassing, and totally wild parent-teacher conference moments. Honestly, some of these make my chair-stuck-on-the-butt moment seem not so bad at all (sorry for how hard I laughed at #11’s pain). He looked at her and said ‘I can’t hold it in. A fart needs to be free!’ Dying. He thinks farting is the funniest thing ever. I feel bad for the kids who sit next to him, to be honest." — Lauren V., Providence, Rhode Island More from CafeMom: 20 Things Never to Say to Your Kid’s Teacher It turns out Mr. J. used to be a pretty high-profile college basketball player at my husband’s alma mater. My husband asked for a selfie and tried to hug him at the end of the conference. I think Mr. J. and I were both embarrassed." — Name withheld by request Halfway through the conference she put her head in my lap and then barfed all over my legs and the teacher’s shoes. Poor kiddo was so miserable and I am a sympathetic puker so I started gagging too. I made it to the trash can though before I tossed my cookies. Poor Miss Amy." — Lisha T., Brooklyn Center, Minnesota I am going to be a HOT MESS on the first day of kindergarten, aren’t I?" — Janelle G., Saint Paul, Minnesota More from CafeMom: 11 Craziest Things Teachers Have Ever Said to Kids When all four of us rolled into the conference, the poor sub was totally flustered and you could see her desperately trying to figure out how this whole thing worked but not wanting to ask. She eventually blurted out something like ‘So, everyone is gay, then?’ which was the real highlight. We laughed about it for the rest of the night." — Chris T., Ann Arbor, Michigan A few weeks earlier, my daughter walked in on my husband and I having sex. She’d been sleeping and seemed sort of out of it, so I didn’t think she remembered much about it. She must have remembered more than I expected because apparently she told several kids in her class that ‘sometimes my dada kisses my mama — ON THE BUTT.’ Total mortification. We had a loooong talk that night about what kinds of things are okay to talk about at school. And that a vagina is not the same as a butt." — Name withheld by request So proud. I know she is just curious, but yikes! Don’t Google big fart butt." — Misty E., Scottsdale, Arizona I was totally deflated when I went to meet with the teacher after the first month and she brought up our ’tardy problem.’ I wasn’t aware we had a tardy problem and said, ‘But, we’re always here by 8:45 a.m. on the dot!’ The teacher gave me a funny look and said, ‘Yes. But school starts at 8:30 a.m.’ Oops. My poor kid had been 15 minutes late, every day, for a month and I didn’t even know. Total mom fail." — Nina G., Oakland, California No, lady, he isn’t caffeinated. He’s just 7." — Sara F., Redwood, California I was giving conferences and one of the parents came in and was just staring at me so hard. I was trying to just keep going, relying on my partner teacher to translate for me. Finally the mom just blurted out ‘why are you a giant? Redheaded giant is strange for a woman!’ I don’t think that is exactly what she meant, but I really didn’t know how to answer that one." — Riley J., Edina, Minnesota Ouch, kid." — Carrie S., Albaqureuque, New Mexico
title: “When Parent Teacher Conferences Go Wrong 15 Lol Stories” ShowToc: true date: “2024-09-16” author: “Helen Garrett”
I knew before I sat down in the tiny chair in my child’s classroom that sitting was a mistake. The chair was clearly designed for a little 2-year-old’s bottom. My own bottom was decidedly bigger, which became even more painfully obvious when I later attempted to stand back up and the chair, well, sort of came with me. I was stuck in a chair, in front of my child’s teacher. Yeah, I’m not going to forget that parent/teacher conference moment any time soon. Parent-teacher conferences are a surprisingly emotional event for me. Not only is there the crushing nostalgia of being back in a cheerful kids’ classroom, but there are the emotions that come with seeing just how much my kid is growing and learning at school. Plus, given who my kid is, there is also the tiny bit of anxiety I feel about the inevitable moment when the teacher tells us he talks too much in class (every. single. conference). More from CafeMom: 16 Hilariously Inappropriate Kid Homework Fails Since nothing makes me feel better than hearing about other people’s embarrassing parenting moments, I decided to ask some of my closest mom friends about their own ridiculous, embarrassing, and totally wild parent-teacher conference moments. Honestly, some of these make my chair-stuck-on-the-butt moment seem not so bad at all (sorry for how hard I laughed at #11’s pain). He looked at her and said ‘I can’t hold it in. A fart needs to be free!’ Dying. He thinks farting is the funniest thing ever. I feel bad for the kids who sit next to him, to be honest." — Lauren V., Providence, Rhode Island More from CafeMom: 20 Things Never to Say to Your Kid’s Teacher It turns out Mr. J. used to be a pretty high-profile college basketball player at my husband’s alma mater. My husband asked for a selfie and tried to hug him at the end of the conference. I think Mr. J. and I were both embarrassed." — Name withheld by request Halfway through the conference she put her head in my lap and then barfed all over my legs and the teacher’s shoes. Poor kiddo was so miserable and I am a sympathetic puker so I started gagging too. I made it to the trash can though before I tossed my cookies. Poor Miss Amy." — Lisha T., Brooklyn Center, Minnesota I am going to be a HOT MESS on the first day of kindergarten, aren’t I?" — Janelle G., Saint Paul, Minnesota More from CafeMom: 11 Craziest Things Teachers Have Ever Said to Kids When all four of us rolled into the conference, the poor sub was totally flustered and you could see her desperately trying to figure out how this whole thing worked but not wanting to ask. She eventually blurted out something like ‘So, everyone is gay, then?’ which was the real highlight. We laughed about it for the rest of the night." — Chris T., Ann Arbor, Michigan A few weeks earlier, my daughter walked in on my husband and I having sex. She’d been sleeping and seemed sort of out of it, so I didn’t think she remembered much about it. She must have remembered more than I expected because apparently she told several kids in her class that ‘sometimes my dada kisses my mama — ON THE BUTT.’ Total mortification. We had a loooong talk that night about what kinds of things are okay to talk about at school. And that a vagina is not the same as a butt." — Name withheld by request So proud. I know she is just curious, but yikes! Don’t Google big fart butt." — Misty E., Scottsdale, Arizona I was totally deflated when I went to meet with the teacher after the first month and she brought up our ’tardy problem.’ I wasn’t aware we had a tardy problem and said, ‘But, we’re always here by 8:45 a.m. on the dot!’ The teacher gave me a funny look and said, ‘Yes. But school starts at 8:30 a.m.’ Oops. My poor kid had been 15 minutes late, every day, for a month and I didn’t even know. Total mom fail." — Nina G., Oakland, California No, lady, he isn’t caffeinated. He’s just 7." — Sara F., Redwood, California I was giving conferences and one of the parents came in and was just staring at me so hard. I was trying to just keep going, relying on my partner teacher to translate for me. Finally the mom just blurted out ‘why are you a giant? Redheaded giant is strange for a woman!’ I don’t think that is exactly what she meant, but I really didn’t know how to answer that one." — Riley J., Edina, Minnesota Ouch, kid." — Carrie S., Albaqureuque, New Mexico
