In an open letter to her baby boy, Alexandra explained that she was often looked down upon before ever even giving birth just because of how old she did or didn’t look. “People had already made up their minds that I wouldn’t have the ability to take care of you. I was branded irresponsible, stupid and people claimed that I had already ruined my life,” she wrote on her Facebook page, Tears ‘n’ Tantrums. “I was often judged as being stupid and people made rude remarks and stared at you when you were in my belly.”
In Alexandra’s experience, as soon as people saw a younger woman with a pregnant belly they immediately made assumptions about both her past and her future. “They saw my baby face and then looked at yours, I was then faced with looks of shame, disgust and judgement,” she wrote. “People heard you cry, scream and tantrum, but they didn’t see a baby who was simply stating their needs, they saw a 17-year-old mother who ‘couldn’t cope.’”
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
The times that her infant did smile, nobody noticed because according to Alexandra, they were too busy passing judgements on “just another teen mom” and that blinded their ability to see the truth:
More from CafeMom: This Mom Will Damn Well Breastfeed at Disney Despite the Scowlers
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
When Alexandra’s first baby was born, people only saw a young girl who they assumed left school and was irresponsible or selfish for bringing him into this world. “They predicted that I would pawn you off every chance I got, not tend to your basic needs, not cope,” she wrote. “They told me when I carried you that I would struggle and that I wouldn’t be able to handle the ‘stress’ that you would bring me. They told me that due to my age, I would struggle to provide for you and you would suffer.”
Instead of finding support from fellow parents or adults, Alexandra only found criticism for the age she decided to become a mother. “When I went to my pregnancy appointments they weren’t filled with joy, I would go in happy and excited and come out feeling defeated and depressed. I used to hold you every night when you were in my belly and apologize and be swept over with guilt,” she wrote. “Already before I even knew you, I felt as though I wasn’t good enough for you, that you may be better off else where since I was just a ’teen mom,’ another statistic.”
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
Instead of feeling bitter towards these haters who simply assumed that Alexandra was a statistic, she’s just sad that they can’t see her and her kiddo now — and realize just how very wrong they were. “I wish they could see how charming, beautiful, intelligent and polite you are. How clever and well-behaved you are," she wrote. “I wish they could see how determined and motivated I am with you and how much I am working to improve our quality of life.”
To the people who weren’t capable of seeing past her age and recognizing just how happy she and her child were, Alexandra wants them to know that she was always there for her baby and that will never change at any age. “I wish instead they saw past my ‘young’ face and instead, saw the beauty in yours … I wish that they could see how much you are thriving in life and how much I did cope,” she wrote. “Yes it was a struggle, but the struggle was so worth it.”
More from CafeMom: Mom Who Was Shamed for ‘Ignoring’ Her Baby Says We Shouldn’t Be So Quick to Judge
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
There’s also a bigger picture to having kids earlier in life and everyone judging Alexandra failed to see these benefits that she refuses to take for granted. “Being a young mom to you means I get to hold you that bit longer, watch you grow and venture this world. See my great-grandchildren grow and be with you every step of the way,” she wrote. “It means I get to be there for you for longer and support you through the hard times in life.”
Although Alexandra was young when she gave birth for the first time, her baby boy undoubtedly changed her life for the better. For that alone, she will always be grateful for being the young mom that everyone else was so quick to pity. “You introduced me to a love that is like no other. You guided me and taught me so much at such a young age,” she wrote. “For that baby, I thank you and I owe my whole life to you. As your mother, that is what I will do. Love forever and always, your ‘young mom.’”
title: “What It S Really Like To Be The Young Mom That Everyone Is Judging” ShowToc: true date: “2024-10-25” author: “Angel Whitlock”
In an open letter to her baby boy, Alexandra explained that she was often looked down upon before ever even giving birth just because of how old she did or didn’t look. “People had already made up their minds that I wouldn’t have the ability to take care of you. I was branded irresponsible, stupid and people claimed that I had already ruined my life,” she wrote on her Facebook page, Tears ‘n’ Tantrums. “I was often judged as being stupid and people made rude remarks and stared at you when you were in my belly.”
In Alexandra’s experience, as soon as people saw a younger woman with a pregnant belly they immediately made assumptions about both her past and her future. “They saw my baby face and then looked at yours, I was then faced with looks of shame, disgust and judgement,” she wrote. “People heard you cry, scream and tantrum, but they didn’t see a baby who was simply stating their needs, they saw a 17-year-old mother who ‘couldn’t cope.’”
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
The times that her infant did smile, nobody noticed because according to Alexandra, they were too busy passing judgements on “just another teen mom” and that blinded their ability to see the truth:
More from CafeMom: This Mom Will Damn Well Breastfeed at Disney Despite the Scowlers
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
When Alexandra’s first baby was born, people only saw a young girl who they assumed left school and was irresponsible or selfish for bringing him into this world. “They predicted that I would pawn you off every chance I got, not tend to your basic needs, not cope,” she wrote. “They told me when I carried you that I would struggle and that I wouldn’t be able to handle the ‘stress’ that you would bring me. They told me that due to my age, I would struggle to provide for you and you would suffer.”
Instead of finding support from fellow parents or adults, Alexandra only found criticism for the age she decided to become a mother. “When I went to my pregnancy appointments they weren’t filled with joy, I would go in happy and excited and come out feeling defeated and depressed. I used to hold you every night when you were in my belly and apologize and be swept over with guilt,” she wrote. “Already before I even knew you, I felt as though I wasn’t good enough for you, that you may be better off else where since I was just a ’teen mom,’ another statistic.”
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
Instead of feeling bitter towards these haters who simply assumed that Alexandra was a statistic, she’s just sad that they can’t see her and her kiddo now — and realize just how very wrong they were. “I wish they could see how charming, beautiful, intelligent and polite you are. How clever and well-behaved you are," she wrote. “I wish they could see how determined and motivated I am with you and how much I am working to improve our quality of life.”
To the people who weren’t capable of seeing past her age and recognizing just how happy she and her child were, Alexandra wants them to know that she was always there for her baby and that will never change at any age. “I wish instead they saw past my ‘young’ face and instead, saw the beauty in yours … I wish that they could see how much you are thriving in life and how much I did cope,” she wrote. “Yes it was a struggle, but the struggle was so worth it.”
More from CafeMom: Mom Who Was Shamed for ‘Ignoring’ Her Baby Says We Shouldn’t Be So Quick to Judge
Tears ’n’ Tantrums/Facebook
There’s also a bigger picture to having kids earlier in life and everyone judging Alexandra failed to see these benefits that she refuses to take for granted. “Being a young mom to you means I get to hold you that bit longer, watch you grow and venture this world. See my great-grandchildren grow and be with you every step of the way,” she wrote. “It means I get to be there for you for longer and support you through the hard times in life.”
Although Alexandra was young when she gave birth for the first time, her baby boy undoubtedly changed her life for the better. For that alone, she will always be grateful for being the young mom that everyone else was so quick to pity. “You introduced me to a love that is like no other. You guided me and taught me so much at such a young age,” she wrote. “For that baby, I thank you and I owe my whole life to you. As your mother, that is what I will do. Love forever and always, your ‘young mom.’”
