On the day of my daughter’s first birthday, I found myself standing buck naked in front of a steamed-up mirror after a shower. I took a moment to look at my post-pregnancy body up and down amid the fog. Some people might think I’m still pregnant, I thought to myself, taking in the belly that never stopped sagging. Its stretch marks were still red and fresh, as if they’d only just appeared. Above them, my boobs fell to either side of my body. So completely antithetical to the boobs of a Victoria’s Secret catalog. My cellulite seemed more plentiful than ever before — decorating my rump and thighs like craters on Earth’s moon. My body, which was fat before I had a child and is now even fatter, is forever altered by carrying and pushing out a small person. While mainstream media, diet culture, “concerned” relatives, and douchey strangers on the street may be quick to tell me that pregnancy has only further “ruined” my already “flawed” figure, I can’t help but disagree. More from CafeMom: 12 Celebrities Who Were Body-Shamed Post-Pregnancy I’ve existed in a fat body for most of my life, and nearly all of my adult life. As a result, I’m pretty used to hearing about how much happier, prettier, and healthier I’d be if I lost, I don’t know, five dress sizes or so. I’m used to feeling like the “before” photo of a before-and-after weight loss ad. I’m used to being shouted at and heckled, both online and IRL, for taking up too much space, for wobbling when I walk, or for daring to wear interesting clothing that doesn’t hide my size. More from CafeMom: ‘Bonespiration’ Is the Latest & Most Chilling Hashtag Sweeping Over Social Media What saddens me about “get your pre-baby body back” messaging, in particular, is that it can feel like yet another force striving to make new motherhood one of the hardest challenges of life. Having a baby is a surefire way to get your world turned upside down. It isn’t just the sleepless nights, or all the bodily fluids you suddenly find yourself having to contend with. It’s the endless struggle to achieve balance. To stay true to the person you were before having a kid while also letting yourself grow into this new parent role. Me-time becomes practically nonexistent for a lot of mothers, as the mantra “you can have it all” begins to feel like a challenge — a source of direct confrontation making you feel like a failure if you haven’t yet managed to actually have it all. More from CafeMom: 13 Inspirational Quotes to Read on the Worst Mommy Days It’s taken me a lot of personal work over the years, but it’s thankfully been a long time since I viewed my body as a problem to be solved. In all of its fatness and sagging — both pre-baby and post-baby — I firmly believe that it is worthy of tolerance. That I am worthy of tolerance. Of basic human decency. Of being left to live peacefully without harassment and judgment. I believe that all fat people, all mothers, all women, and — you know what? — all humans (except perhaps assholes) are entitled to the same. More from CafeMom: Brands That Cater to “All Bodies” Aren’t Always What They Seem For me, my fat body has experienced changes that are directly correlated to having a child. To carrying that child. To agonizingly delivering that child after 50-plus hours of hell. To being part of the miracle that is human frickin’ evolution. So if you ask me, I’m not even more “ruined” as a result of it all. Instead, I carry the signs of one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I carry them with love. More from CafeMom: 15 Raw Birth Photos That Show How Amazing the Vagina Actually Is
title: “No My Already Fat Body Has Not Been Even More Ruined By Pregnancy” ShowToc: true date: “2024-10-09” author: “Frances Corzo”
On the day of my daughter’s first birthday, I found myself standing buck naked in front of a steamed-up mirror after a shower. I took a moment to look at my post-pregnancy body up and down amid the fog. Some people might think I’m still pregnant, I thought to myself, taking in the belly that never stopped sagging. Its stretch marks were still red and fresh, as if they’d only just appeared. Above them, my boobs fell to either side of my body. So completely antithetical to the boobs of a Victoria’s Secret catalog. My cellulite seemed more plentiful than ever before — decorating my rump and thighs like craters on Earth’s moon. My body, which was fat before I had a child and is now even fatter, is forever altered by carrying and pushing out a small person. While mainstream media, diet culture, “concerned” relatives, and douchey strangers on the street may be quick to tell me that pregnancy has only further “ruined” my already “flawed” figure, I can’t help but disagree. More from CafeMom: 12 Celebrities Who Were Body-Shamed Post-Pregnancy I’ve existed in a fat body for most of my life, and nearly all of my adult life. As a result, I’m pretty used to hearing about how much happier, prettier, and healthier I’d be if I lost, I don’t know, five dress sizes or so. I’m used to feeling like the “before” photo of a before-and-after weight loss ad. I’m used to being shouted at and heckled, both online and IRL, for taking up too much space, for wobbling when I walk, or for daring to wear interesting clothing that doesn’t hide my size. More from CafeMom: ‘Bonespiration’ Is the Latest & Most Chilling Hashtag Sweeping Over Social Media What saddens me about “get your pre-baby body back” messaging, in particular, is that it can feel like yet another force striving to make new motherhood one of the hardest challenges of life. Having a baby is a surefire way to get your world turned upside down. It isn’t just the sleepless nights, or all the bodily fluids you suddenly find yourself having to contend with. It’s the endless struggle to achieve balance. To stay true to the person you were before having a kid while also letting yourself grow into this new parent role. Me-time becomes practically nonexistent for a lot of mothers, as the mantra “you can have it all” begins to feel like a challenge — a source of direct confrontation making you feel like a failure if you haven’t yet managed to actually have it all. More from CafeMom: 13 Inspirational Quotes to Read on the Worst Mommy Days It’s taken me a lot of personal work over the years, but it’s thankfully been a long time since I viewed my body as a problem to be solved. In all of its fatness and sagging — both pre-baby and post-baby — I firmly believe that it is worthy of tolerance. That I am worthy of tolerance. Of basic human decency. Of being left to live peacefully without harassment and judgment. I believe that all fat people, all mothers, all women, and — you know what? — all humans (except perhaps assholes) are entitled to the same. More from CafeMom: Brands That Cater to “All Bodies” Aren’t Always What They Seem For me, my fat body has experienced changes that are directly correlated to having a child. To carrying that child. To agonizingly delivering that child after 50-plus hours of hell. To being part of the miracle that is human frickin’ evolution. So if you ask me, I’m not even more “ruined” as a result of it all. Instead, I carry the signs of one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I carry them with love. More from CafeMom: 15 Raw Birth Photos That Show How Amazing the Vagina Actually Is
