More from CafeMom: Woman Delivers Own Baby During Hurricane Irma Because Moms Are Superheros She gives a glimpse into what a typical night with a newborn looks like. “Let the alarm go off for one hour and run around your house hysterical. If at night, make sure to fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm goes off again.” And whether it’s to save time or just because you’re so exhausted that you don’t remember anymore, Mazza offers this helpful hint: “Stop brushing your teeth.” “Go to bed at 8, but stay awake until 1am, if anyone asks tell them you’re trying to have some me time.” “Eat food one handed.” “Make sure it’s cold.” “Make 20 cups of coffee. Don’t drink any of them.” “Cry. A lot.” And when all else fails and you just want to feel better, “Eat cake, nothing but cake.” “Watch your partner sleep and imagine shoving a stick into his snoring mouth,” Mazza writes. “Hate him. Tell him he’s an asshole who doesn’t get it and ignore him. The more you ignore or yell the better it’ll be for him when the baby comes — if he looks confused … you are ready.” But really, cherish every moment.
title: " Mum On The Run Writes Hysterical Tips For New Parents" ShowToc: true date: “2024-08-31” author: “Vernie Fisher”
More from CafeMom: Woman Delivers Own Baby During Hurricane Irma Because Moms Are Superheros She gives a glimpse into what a typical night with a newborn looks like. “Let the alarm go off for one hour and run around your house hysterical. If at night, make sure to fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm goes off again.” And whether it’s to save time or just because you’re so exhausted that you don’t remember anymore, Mazza offers this helpful hint: “Stop brushing your teeth.” “Go to bed at 8, but stay awake until 1am, if anyone asks tell them you’re trying to have some me time.” “Eat food one handed.” “Make sure it’s cold.” “Make 20 cups of coffee. Don’t drink any of them.” “Cry. A lot.” And when all else fails and you just want to feel better, “Eat cake, nothing but cake.” “Watch your partner sleep and imagine shoving a stick into his snoring mouth,” Mazza writes. “Hate him. Tell him he’s an asshole who doesn’t get it and ignore him. The more you ignore or yell the better it’ll be for him when the baby comes — if he looks confused … you are ready.” But really, cherish every moment.
