“At only 28 years old, I was now a pregnant widow with an almost 2-year-old son, and an almost 6-year-old stepson I feared I might not get to see again,” she explained. As often happens with blended families, there was tension between Stephanie and Stuart’s family. We were treated like outsiders," she explained. “It was torture, but I was there to tell our story and ensure that he was honored for not only the soldier he was, but the husband, father, and man he was.”
But Stephanie held strong. “No matter what was said or done, I had to be the woman Stuart married,” she said.
Stephanie’s dam of emotion held until she, 2-year-old Dominic, and her stepson Maliq walked up to Stuart’s casket to say their goodbyes. “I knew the entire church of 400+ attendees were watching us,” Stephanie described.
“My heart shattered as I heard Dominic saying his goodbyes,” Stephanie added. “I gave Stuart one final kiss, and as much as I wanted to pretend like this wasn’t happening, that this was just a nightmare, that I would wake up soon, I heard all of our family and friends begin to cry louder, sighing in disbelief, which reminded me once again I truly was living this nightmare.”
Stuart’s death would plant a seed of anger in Stephanie. One that would blossom when she finally gave birth to their second son.
Stuart finally made his move months after the two had met, “[and] when I say he made a move I mean he finally had a full conversation with me other than just a quick hello and goodbye,” Stephanie joked.
The two fell into an immediate and fast friendship, which then quickly blossomed into love. “He always told me it was love at first sight for him because the moment he laid eyes on me he knew I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with,” she added.
Both Stephanie and Stuart were in the military, and only a few months after their wedding, both were deployed to Jordan and Iraq for nine-month rotations. After their duty ended, they were stationed in Hawaii.
Though Stephanie had a moment of crises during her delivery (her son Dominic had to be admitted into the NICU and she had started to bleed out), the new mom recovered and life began anew for the family.
“Dominic was not only a bright soul that made our lives complete, but he brought so much joy to the lives of all those around us,” Stephanie explained.
Happy with their growing brood, the couple decided to try for a second child, though this time things didn’t happen as quickly. It took them months but they were ecstatic when they learned that Stephanie was finally pregnant.
A friend drove her to the hospital, and Stephanie said that she didn’t even wait for the car to stop when she leapt from its doors and burst through the front doors of the hospital. She rushed in and the doctor immediately gave her the devastating news: Stuart was gone.
Heartbroken, Stephanie was overwhelmed with grief. “I screamed, I yelled, I dropped down to the floor because I simply could not believe what this woman was telling me,” she said.
“As I told both of our mothers he had passed, both yelled so loudly. It was an unbelievable shriek I will never forget because it sounded just like mine. I knew at that moment if we let it, this pain would be too unbearable,” she added. Confused and in shock, Stephanie blurted out to friends in the hospital’s waiting room that she was pregnant, something so new that only Stuart knew.
Stephanie chose strength as her solace; the couple had only been two weeks away from announcing her pregnancy and she had to face that she would be handling her pregnancy alone this time.
“For months I focused on keeping my emotions controlled to prevent anything from happening to our blessing, but that day was the day I finally let it all out. As each contraction became stronger than the last, I closed my eyes to deal with the pain but all I saw was Stuart’s face. I wanted to cry, but I had to be strong,” she said.
The only bright spot in Stephanie’s world was her older son, Dominic. He had come to the hospital in tiny, blue scrubs with the words “Big Brother” embossed on the chest.
Stephanie said that the birth of her second son was a turning point for their family because “it was a reminder we could all do this together,” she said.
“He asks me if he can fly with daddy in the sky [in heaven],” Stephanie said, “I let him know that a very long, long, long time from now he will be able to fly with his daddy.”
Stephanie has made a vow to Stuart Sr. and herself that she will keep the memory of her husband alive for her sons. She wants all three of them to know who their father was and to know that he loved them.
Stephanie ends her story with on a sorrow-filled note of hope and this important token that has helped her keep her faith: “‘Death takes the body. God takes the soul. Our mind holds the memories. Our heart keeps the love. Our faith lets us know we will meet again.’”
“I loved him then, I love him now, and I will always love him,” she said.
