The 13-year-old responded politely to the ambush and answered everything that was asked of her, but the questions kept coming. The nurse practitioner asked if she was having a hard time at school, if she was having normal periods, if she was struggling to balance school with all of her activities. “The NP then looks down at her computer, then back up at Riley’s face,” Venn recalled, “and she says to my 13 year old daughter — ‘Tell me RILEY, HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS WEIGHT YOU’VE GAINED?’”
Once the appointment was over, the nurse practitioner pulled Venn into another area and asked her why she got so upset. Venn explained to the woman that she was totally out of line — and the nurse defended herself, saying that she thinks it’s appropriate to talk to kids about gaining weight and that “some kids have their own ‘pocket money’ and use it for junk.”
“Our girls need to be empowered and supported and celebrated,” Venn countered. “They already have to compare themselves to the ridiculous social media bullshit standards. They are flooded with images of perfection via tv, youtube, FB, Instagram and Snapchat. Their whole freaking lives have a filter on them! I hammer home the importance of eating healthy, exercising and of course sports because we are sporty people but my god! Kids eat junk food! Kids sit around watching Netflix! Kids get heavier, lighter, taller, wider! ITS NORMAL!”
Rightfully, Venn and her daughter left the office and they have zero plans to return.
Thankfully, Riley understood that what she experienced during that appointment was not OK. Wrote Venn, “Riley’s response when we left was ‘Mom, this is why kids have anorexia or feel like they want to hurt themselves.’”
But even though Venn’s daughter is smart and strong and “gets it,” it doesn’t change the fact that what that medical professional said to her was completely inappropriate. Instead of body-shaming her 13-year-old, Venn shared what she wished the nurse practitioner would have said instead:
