Mom-of-two Kelly Mead decided to spell out the difference in mornings between moms and dads by sharing a detailed list, and her contrasting account is resonating across Facebook because it’s just so damn relatable. On the mom’s side of her list, she starts that a typical morning for her during maternity leave begins when she gets up at 6 a.m. with her 5-year-old and 9-week-old after getting only two hours of sleep because of feedings. While she’s getting breakfast for her son, she’s also dealing with feeding the baby, putting the dishes away, loading the dishwasher, changing the baby, and getting her boy dressed for school. Then, she needs to wash, sterilize, and make bottles before it’s time to feed her daughter again, get laundry started, and attempt to get herself dressed. Next, “attempt to tame the 5-year-old’s hair, get 5-year-old’s school bag and coat ready, get 5-year-old’s shoes on, get 9-week-old into car seat, drive to school, stand outside in cold until teachers decide to stop having a morning catch up,” she wrote on the Motherload Facebook group. Once her boy is inside, she has to get the baby back into the car, swing by the stores, and unpack the baby back home before she gets hungry again. “Day continues with changing baby, feeding, washing, putting clothes away, change baby, consoling ex-husband after loss of mom, feeding, weeing one’s self, Facebook/Motherload binge, change sh-tty nappy, food shopping, cleaning, change baby, cooking, another school run, homework, dog walking, swimming lessons, change baby,” she wrote. “Cooking, feeding, another wet knicker sesh, feeding dumb dog, change baby, feeding silly cat, feeding cat shagging rabbit, bath time for kiddies, change baby, pjs on, bedtime, feeding, nighttime routine begins of solid feeding fatty baby…” Kelly Mead/Facebook Dad also has a busy morning, followed by a full day, but it’s slightly different than Mom’s. “Full night’s sleep, gets up at 7:30, has a poo, has a hot bath, has hot cup of tea, has a poo, has breakfast, has a shave, gets self dressed, has a poo, leaves house, comes home in evening to dinner, watches football or plays on PS, and goes to bed,” Mead wrote. “And he has the cheek to tell me he’s f-cking tired!!! Don’t think so bitch tits … don’t think so! And I’ve not had a wash for like a week … my head is 50% dry shampoo and 45% grease and 5% hair.” Yes, Mead counted and her boyfriend shts three times before even leaving the house, without helping with the kids — but that isn’t the problem. For her, it’s the fact that he enjoys “epic full-night sleeps” while she’s been expected to exist on less than three hours of sleep for the past nine weeks. Yet, she still has to listen to him btching about his levels of exhaustion. “Just be a little bit more pragmatic — a little more aware of the wording! I mean even this morning — I could have killed him — he said, ‘I feel really groggy because I’ve had TOO MUCH sleep!’” she tells CafeMom. “It’s not wanted and it’s not appreciated … just a little bit more awareness, I think!” Mead points out that just like if another girl was flirting with him or falling all over him and he would be considerate and not rub it in, he should have the same mindset when it comes to sleep bragging. “It would hurt your feelings or induce jealousy … same thing!” she says. “His reaction: justifying himself! ‘I do help,’ ‘I put the dishes in the dishwasher because you told me to’ … insert jump-off-a-cliff comment here!” Mead was first inspired to write out this list after coming to terms with how much harder life has been with a second baby and quickly realized that other moms are likely feeling the exact same way. “It’s relatable because we’re all there apart from a small very fortunate minority where there is equal partnership, parenting, and home care,” she says. “But for many of us, it isn’t, but we just get on with it and don’t complain … until that one, very silly, male comment … ‘I’m so tired!’” So men, the next time you’re feeling bitter about getting too much or too little sleep, see how your morning routine stacks up to the mother of your child and either balance it out or keep your mouth shut!
