Men Do This In The Bedroom To Stop You From Cheating

The new study, which must have been quite a doozy to work on, determined that men who go downtown are likely to use it as a “male retention tactic” to keep you from finding sexual bliss in someone else’s sheets. Getting a good tongue lashing from your man will apparently increase your sexual satisfaction — and hence your loyalty. It had previously been thought that a little lappy is more likely to result in orgasm, and a female orgasm has been theorized as a mechanism to increase fertility. If a female orgasms, she’s apparently more likely to retain sperm and then get pregnant. Buuuuuuut if that theory was correct, that meant men would getting lippy with it AFTER the guy has fired off his sperm rocket. Ewww. Who does that?! But the study concluded that oral sex really had nothing to do with trying to get a female pregnant — it had more to do with keeping her happy. Aww, that’s nice, guys. The study also sounds suspiciously like it concludes that less desirable men are more likely to muff dive, saying: I’m thinking “recurrent sperm competition” is another way of saying guys who would normally have a problem holding on to their ladies because of lack of looks or assets or something else. Have you ever felt like the less desirable dudes are more likely to want to cunni your lingus?
I have to agree with this study. If a guy doesn’t ever want to take the downtown train, I’d tell him to take the next train out.
Does your man like a little oral persuasion? Image via Terence S Jones/Flickr

title: “Men Do This In The Bedroom To Stop You From Cheating” ShowToc: true date: “2024-10-06” author: “Gregg Cunningham”

The new study, which must have been quite a doozy to work on, determined that men who go downtown are likely to use it as a “male retention tactic” to keep you from finding sexual bliss in someone else’s sheets. Getting a good tongue lashing from your man will apparently increase your sexual satisfaction — and hence your loyalty. It had previously been thought that a little lappy is more likely to result in orgasm, and a female orgasm has been theorized as a mechanism to increase fertility. If a female orgasms, she’s apparently more likely to retain sperm and then get pregnant. Buuuuuuut if that theory was correct, that meant men would getting lippy with it AFTER the guy has fired off his sperm rocket. Ewww. Who does that?! But the study concluded that oral sex really had nothing to do with trying to get a female pregnant — it had more to do with keeping her happy. Aww, that’s nice, guys. The study also sounds suspiciously like it concludes that less desirable men are more likely to muff dive, saying: I’m thinking “recurrent sperm competition” is another way of saying guys who would normally have a problem holding on to their ladies because of lack of looks or assets or something else. Have you ever felt like the less desirable dudes are more likely to want to cunni your lingus?
I have to agree with this study. If a guy doesn’t ever want to take the downtown train, I’d tell him to take the next train out.
Does your man like a little oral persuasion? Image via Terence S Jones/Flickr

title: “Men Do This In The Bedroom To Stop You From Cheating” ShowToc: true date: “2024-10-01” author: “Rita Leider”

The new study, which must have been quite a doozy to work on, determined that men who go downtown are likely to use it as a “male retention tactic” to keep you from finding sexual bliss in someone else’s sheets. Getting a good tongue lashing from your man will apparently increase your sexual satisfaction — and hence your loyalty. It had previously been thought that a little lappy is more likely to result in orgasm, and a female orgasm has been theorized as a mechanism to increase fertility. If a female orgasms, she’s apparently more likely to retain sperm and then get pregnant. Buuuuuuut if that theory was correct, that meant men would getting lippy with it AFTER the guy has fired off his sperm rocket. Ewww. Who does that?! But the study concluded that oral sex really had nothing to do with trying to get a female pregnant — it had more to do with keeping her happy. Aww, that’s nice, guys. The study also sounds suspiciously like it concludes that less desirable men are more likely to muff dive, saying: I’m thinking “recurrent sperm competition” is another way of saying guys who would normally have a problem holding on to their ladies because of lack of looks or assets or something else. Have you ever felt like the less desirable dudes are more likely to want to cunni your lingus?
I have to agree with this study. If a guy doesn’t ever want to take the downtown train, I’d tell him to take the next train out.
Does your man like a little oral persuasion? Image via Terence S Jones/Flickr

title: “Men Do This In The Bedroom To Stop You From Cheating” ShowToc: true date: “2024-10-11” author: “Debra Bell”

The new study, which must have been quite a doozy to work on, determined that men who go downtown are likely to use it as a “male retention tactic” to keep you from finding sexual bliss in someone else’s sheets. Getting a good tongue lashing from your man will apparently increase your sexual satisfaction — and hence your loyalty. It had previously been thought that a little lappy is more likely to result in orgasm, and a female orgasm has been theorized as a mechanism to increase fertility. If a female orgasms, she’s apparently more likely to retain sperm and then get pregnant. Buuuuuuut if that theory was correct, that meant men would getting lippy with it AFTER the guy has fired off his sperm rocket. Ewww. Who does that?! But the study concluded that oral sex really had nothing to do with trying to get a female pregnant — it had more to do with keeping her happy. Aww, that’s nice, guys. The study also sounds suspiciously like it concludes that less desirable men are more likely to muff dive, saying: I’m thinking “recurrent sperm competition” is another way of saying guys who would normally have a problem holding on to their ladies because of lack of looks or assets or something else. Have you ever felt like the less desirable dudes are more likely to want to cunni your lingus?
I have to agree with this study. If a guy doesn’t ever want to take the downtown train, I’d tell him to take the next train out.
Does your man like a little oral persuasion? Image via Terence S Jones/Flickr

title: “Men Do This In The Bedroom To Stop You From Cheating” ShowToc: true date: “2024-09-02” author: “Lawanda Yee”

The new study, which must have been quite a doozy to work on, determined that men who go downtown are likely to use it as a “male retention tactic” to keep you from finding sexual bliss in someone else’s sheets. Getting a good tongue lashing from your man will apparently increase your sexual satisfaction — and hence your loyalty. It had previously been thought that a little lappy is more likely to result in orgasm, and a female orgasm has been theorized as a mechanism to increase fertility. If a female orgasms, she’s apparently more likely to retain sperm and then get pregnant. Buuuuuuut if that theory was correct, that meant men would getting lippy with it AFTER the guy has fired off his sperm rocket. Ewww. Who does that?! But the study concluded that oral sex really had nothing to do with trying to get a female pregnant — it had more to do with keeping her happy. Aww, that’s nice, guys. The study also sounds suspiciously like it concludes that less desirable men are more likely to muff dive, saying: I’m thinking “recurrent sperm competition” is another way of saying guys who would normally have a problem holding on to their ladies because of lack of looks or assets or something else. Have you ever felt like the less desirable dudes are more likely to want to cunni your lingus?
I have to agree with this study. If a guy doesn’t ever want to take the downtown train, I’d tell him to take the next train out.
Does your man like a little oral persuasion? Image via Terence S Jones/Flickr

title: “Men Do This In The Bedroom To Stop You From Cheating” ShowToc: true date: “2024-10-05” author: “Leroy Goris”

The new study, which must have been quite a doozy to work on, determined that men who go downtown are likely to use it as a “male retention tactic” to keep you from finding sexual bliss in someone else’s sheets. Getting a good tongue lashing from your man will apparently increase your sexual satisfaction — and hence your loyalty. It had previously been thought that a little lappy is more likely to result in orgasm, and a female orgasm has been theorized as a mechanism to increase fertility. If a female orgasms, she’s apparently more likely to retain sperm and then get pregnant. Buuuuuuut if that theory was correct, that meant men would getting lippy with it AFTER the guy has fired off his sperm rocket. Ewww. Who does that?! But the study concluded that oral sex really had nothing to do with trying to get a female pregnant — it had more to do with keeping her happy. Aww, that’s nice, guys. The study also sounds suspiciously like it concludes that less desirable men are more likely to muff dive, saying: I’m thinking “recurrent sperm competition” is another way of saying guys who would normally have a problem holding on to their ladies because of lack of looks or assets or something else. Have you ever felt like the less desirable dudes are more likely to want to cunni your lingus?
I have to agree with this study. If a guy doesn’t ever want to take the downtown train, I’d tell him to take the next train out.
Does your man like a little oral persuasion? Image via Terence S Jones/Flickr

title: “Men Do This In The Bedroom To Stop You From Cheating” ShowToc: true date: “2024-09-06” author: “Christina Murdy”

The new study, which must have been quite a doozy to work on, determined that men who go downtown are likely to use it as a “male retention tactic” to keep you from finding sexual bliss in someone else’s sheets. Getting a good tongue lashing from your man will apparently increase your sexual satisfaction — and hence your loyalty. It had previously been thought that a little lappy is more likely to result in orgasm, and a female orgasm has been theorized as a mechanism to increase fertility. If a female orgasms, she’s apparently more likely to retain sperm and then get pregnant. Buuuuuuut if that theory was correct, that meant men would getting lippy with it AFTER the guy has fired off his sperm rocket. Ewww. Who does that?! But the study concluded that oral sex really had nothing to do with trying to get a female pregnant — it had more to do with keeping her happy. Aww, that’s nice, guys. The study also sounds suspiciously like it concludes that less desirable men are more likely to muff dive, saying: I’m thinking “recurrent sperm competition” is another way of saying guys who would normally have a problem holding on to their ladies because of lack of looks or assets or something else. Have you ever felt like the less desirable dudes are more likely to want to cunni your lingus?
I have to agree with this study. If a guy doesn’t ever want to take the downtown train, I’d tell him to take the next train out.
Does your man like a little oral persuasion? Image via Terence S Jones/Flickr