So when Sephora invited my best friend and I to experience Coachella as ~VIPs~ for the first time, we jumped at the chance.
Here’s what it’s really like to experience Coachella as a VIP.
And yet we packed our bags, threw on our best puppy filter, and headed to Coachella. As we drove to JFK, we realized that we were off on the adventure of someone else’s lifetime.
Luckily, Coachella VIPs like yours truly don’t compare themselves to other people. I read a book, took a nap, and lived through some extremely un-VIP turbulence before arriving in Palm Springs.
But in Palm Springs, it’s warm? And beautiful? And a chorus of small birds wakes you in the morning by singing on your balcony? WTF is going on?
Coachella’s bracelets are similar to other festival wristbands in that they go on easily, but don’t come off unless you cut them off. Of course, this means I immediately pulled mine too tight and spent the next three days trying to loosen it.
The only part of this breakfast I regretted was the pepper, which I stupidly took a huge bite out of and was so hot my face nearly melted off.
EVERYONE loves these affordable and awesome Sephora Collection liquid lipsticks ($14, Sephora) — and with the addition of fun new metallic shades, there are 90 colors to choose from.
Each of these palettes ($28, Sephora) contains three matte blush shades and three iridescent highlight shades so that you can layer, blend, and customize your summer festival look to your heart’s content.
These spray-in hair colors ($24, Sephora) are super quick and easy to apply, wash out with a little shampoo, and have a satisfying sparkle to them. So not only can you have customized rainbow hair for Coachella, you can also rinse it out without damaging your normal color. And yes, these colors do all show up on brunettes — no bleach allowed.
And because you can’t wear a red lip without everyone asking you what lipstick you’re wearing — this is L’Oreal Infallible 2-step Lip Color in Infallible Red ($13, Ulta).
Second: Temperature. We attended Coachella on the first weekend, when it was “not that hot.” This is a relative term. “Not that hot” in Palm Springs means it was around 85 degrees and sunny all day, then dropped to 50 at night. You need to wear something — like this weirdly great “Black Swan” dress — that is lightweight and will keep you cool during the day, but can layer with jackets or hoodies at night.
Finally: Sun protection. Consider me the Ghost of Skin Care Future, and do NOT be cavalier with UV exposure at festivals. Even if you are very young and think that getting sunburnt doesn’t matter. It does, and trust me — you’ll regret it in your 30s. A packable wide-brimmed hat, sunglasses, and a buttload of sunscreen are the bare minimum you’ll need to stay protected.
Anyway, the shuttles are really nice, big coaches. I took a nap for 20 minutes in the air conditioning, before arriving at flower crown ground zero.
You’ll soon see why.
You don’t need to do this in VIP. Our bags were inspected in the same way they’re peered into at a movie theatre to make sure you aren’t smuggling snacks in, we walked through a metal detector, scanned our bracelets again, and were done.
But the VIP food booths don’t cut you any breaks on price. Based on what I saw, food and drink costs about the same across all of Coachella, regardless of how Important your bracelet says you are — expect to pay between $10 and $20 for small (but good) portions of food, and $11+ for drinks. Alcohol is especially expensive, requires a special wristband to purchase, and can only be drunk in certain fenced-off areas of the festival. In VIP, however, you can wander around with a beer at your leisure, so if that’s your jam, this is the only spot you can do it.
Obviously Coachella can’t make stadium seating where no stadium exists, VIP or not. But if you’re at this festival specifically to see the main stage performances, you may have a tougher time than you expected.
Turns out that, if anything, I undersold it.
For a large number of people, Coachella is one gigantic, expensive photo opportunity. There were not just selfies, there were professionally-staffed influencer photoshoots happening everywhere. There were vloggers walking around in miniature steadycam rigs, filming for their channels. There were “street style” photographers and trend forecasters taking photos of all the cool kids’ outfits — we were photographed multiple times, which was hilarious considering the relative sedateness of our looks.
It’s an unusual experience to go to a music festival where very people seem interested in the music, but that’s 2018 for you.
This was, honestly, 100% my speed. The rose garden has food and drink that you can buy, wifi (which overloads quickly, but is still there), VIP bathrooms, and private cabanas that you can snag if you arrive early enough. It’s a very relaxing, beautiful spot.
On the bright side, we did get to catch Flatbush Zombies without getting felt up by the demi-drunk frat dudes in the pit. So that’s a positive.
If I had to do it all over again, I’d use my VIP powers to avoid the main fields from 6pm onwards.
I’ve definitely had more fun in public, is what I’m saying.
The VIP crowd was at least 10 to 15 years older, on average, than the people out in the fields. While the overall fashion look of General Admission Coachella was sparkly and naked, in VIP it was all about visible signifiers of wealth. I was draped in a McQueen scarf, so I’m not judging — but it was really interesting to see the style guide the rest of the VIP crowd was adhering to.
Based on what I saw in the VIP section, Gucci is the most Coachella bag brand, slightly too-unbuttoned blue shirts and a painful-looking sunburn are the most Coachella dude fashion statements, and that very particular shade of yellow-platinum blonde made famous by Playboy Playmates is the most Coachella hair color. Almost everyone in VIP was thin. Almost everyone was white.
Observing this style separation between the regular rich (General Admission) and the VERY rich (VIP) was interesting, to say the least.
It immediately got 20 degrees colder, and the line to purchase Coachella hoodies got even longer. In the VIP section, the crowds began to pack in for Beyonce’s performance at 11:30 starting at around 6pm.
That’s a late night if you have a three-day pass, and are going to get up, glitter your entire body, and head back to do it all over again.
But I don’t think I’ll do it again.
Coachella, on the whole, was entertaining and wacky and self-involved and powerful and claustrophobically crowded. It was both better and worse than you could ever imagine, with incredible highs (Beyonce!) and wild lows (anxiety attack).
I will say that if you don’t like crowds, this isn’t the experience for you. I was very grateful for the VIP hideouts, because I found the sheer number of people at this festival VERY stressful.
I also didn’t see a single celebrity, except for Amber Rose, who was surrounded by handlers. Many people say that you can spot all kinds of famous people just hanging around, and maybe you can — maybe they’re all in a VVIP section that gets left off the map.
Overall, the VIP Coachella experience is expensive and it’s overwhelming, but it can also be a lot of fun. It was a once in a lifetime experience, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
