And as you read about celebrity groins, odds are you’ve noticed a particular grooming product mentioned along with it. Fur Oil, to be precise — a luxury conditioning and softening oil specially designed for only the fanciest pubic hair.
Khloé Kardashian reportedly loves Fur Oil. So does Emma Watson. And if a product is good enough for the labial areas of Khlo-money and Hermione, is it not good enough for me?
So I decided to give oiling my pubic hair a try in an effort to become a more chic human being.
And truly, Fur Oil is nothing BUT oils — the ingredients listed contain no fewer than nine different oils, including jojoba, peppermint, lemon peel AND lemongrass, and tea tree.
Friends, it is not good.
This oil has an ASTONISHINGLY powerful smell — something between abrasive lemon floor cleaner and candy going bad. For all the natural ingredients, it is chemical in its power and unpleasantness. If you are sensitive to smells, like I am, this will give you a headache… even if you only put it on your nethers.
I settled on putting four drops on my pubic hair and the skin surrounding it; I do get red bumps on my bikini line, so I thought maybe this would help. I also tried it on my legs, even though I shave, and my arms.
As I experienced everywhere else on my body, even a small amount of Fur Oil brushed through the ol’ eyebrows had two major effects: It made my brows greasy, and there was a strong smell. Neither is what you want when it comes to perfect eyebrows.
But there was one unexpected side effect: because this oil does not absorb or evaporate in any way, some got on my eyelashes and was then blinked into my left eye.
It hurt. My eye went red. I had to take out my contacts. It was a fun, sexy time.
This is why I tell you all to be careful putting shit near your eyes that is not specifically eye safe! The instructions on Fur Oil’s packaging may tell you that it can be brushed through your eyebrows, but it is not exactly world’s best idea.
Me, I’m going to go back to my heathenish ways — un-oiled pubic hair and all.
