According to that survey, sharing the chores fairly was considered more important to a happy marriage than shared political views, having interests in common, and even whether or not you make enough money. I totally get this. The thing about chores is that they are never done. No matter how many times you clean, you’re never done. Things will get messy again, laundry will need to be folded, dishes will need to be washed — for the rest of your life. So feeling like you are the only one standing in the way of your home’s descending into squalor — yes, I have young children, why do you ask? — can be a totally frustrating and fight-worthy experience. But there is hope — at least according to the 11 women we talked to who have figured out a way to end the chore wars with their partners. Read on for some totally steal-worthy ideas and to know that you aren’t alone if you’ve ever contemplated divorce at the sight of a sink filled with someone else’s chin whiskers. For example, I don’t mind leaving dishes for the morning. Andrew can’t stand that. So he does the dishes and sometimes gets mad that he is always doing them, but if he left them, I’d do them while I am waiting for the coffee to brew and the dogs are having breakfast. I work all damn day, I just need a break in the evening. We both work very hard and deserve the right to do chores when we individually have the energy. Overall, it works out great, but if either of us were super controlling or type A, this would probably not work." — Andrea P., Albany, New York Our rule since the week we moved in is that we don’t do anything on the weekend until the house is cleaned first. If one of us has a thing he or she wants to do on a Saturday morning, then he or she needs to get up and [start] cleaning early. Both of us have to be cleaning by 9 a.m. if there is still work to be done. We are kind of hard-core about it, but it works for us." — Amy T., Phoenix, Arizona More from CafeMom: 8 Tips for Splitting Housework With Your Husband to Avoid Fights So each partner and the kids see that area of home life as that partner’s area, and the other does not have to even worry about it or think about it. For example, maybe Dad always does baths, or loads the dishwasher. So we have clear expectations about who is doing what." — Lexi S., Maplewood, Minnesota Also, whoever cooks, the other cleans up. And we have the kids do a lot." — Mandy B., Saint Paul, Minnesota More from CafeMom: 13 Men Give Their Brutally Honest Thoughts About Marriage I cook dinners more since I get home first, but he always cleans up. We have a monthly house cleaner, but both do weekly spot cleaning and vacuuming together as needed. And I do most of the shopping because I can find better deals than he can. It seems like a fair division and we honestly haven’t had any disagreements about it in almost 10 years of marriage. I should ask him though if it feels fair or if he’s just been keeping his mouth shut all of these years because he’s a nice guy." — Laurie R., Abilene, Texas Like, I do the money stuff and I have a system that works for me. It isn’t what he’d do but it is MY THING, not his. So he has to zip it." — Susie K., San Diego, California More from CafeMom: 6 Household Chores That Are Much Harder Than They Seem This, along with not having to worry about birth control, are part of the lesbian benefit package." — Shiloh G., Iowa City, Iowa He would spend THE ENTIRE DAY cleaning the 5’ x 5’ bathroom. I ain’t got time to wait around for that. It’s like bathrooms are a black hole for men. What the HELL do they do in there??" — Jennifer K., Saint Paul, Minnesota
title: “How 11 Couples Stopped Fighting About Chores” ShowToc: true date: “2024-10-10” author: “Barbara Walker”
According to that survey, sharing the chores fairly was considered more important to a happy marriage than shared political views, having interests in common, and even whether or not you make enough money. I totally get this. The thing about chores is that they are never done. No matter how many times you clean, you’re never done. Things will get messy again, laundry will need to be folded, dishes will need to be washed — for the rest of your life. So feeling like you are the only one standing in the way of your home’s descending into squalor — yes, I have young children, why do you ask? — can be a totally frustrating and fight-worthy experience. But there is hope — at least according to the 11 women we talked to who have figured out a way to end the chore wars with their partners. Read on for some totally steal-worthy ideas and to know that you aren’t alone if you’ve ever contemplated divorce at the sight of a sink filled with someone else’s chin whiskers. For example, I don’t mind leaving dishes for the morning. Andrew can’t stand that. So he does the dishes and sometimes gets mad that he is always doing them, but if he left them, I’d do them while I am waiting for the coffee to brew and the dogs are having breakfast. I work all damn day, I just need a break in the evening. We both work very hard and deserve the right to do chores when we individually have the energy. Overall, it works out great, but if either of us were super controlling or type A, this would probably not work." — Andrea P., Albany, New York Our rule since the week we moved in is that we don’t do anything on the weekend until the house is cleaned first. If one of us has a thing he or she wants to do on a Saturday morning, then he or she needs to get up and [start] cleaning early. Both of us have to be cleaning by 9 a.m. if there is still work to be done. We are kind of hard-core about it, but it works for us." — Amy T., Phoenix, Arizona More from CafeMom: 8 Tips for Splitting Housework With Your Husband to Avoid Fights So each partner and the kids see that area of home life as that partner’s area, and the other does not have to even worry about it or think about it. For example, maybe Dad always does baths, or loads the dishwasher. So we have clear expectations about who is doing what." — Lexi S., Maplewood, Minnesota Also, whoever cooks, the other cleans up. And we have the kids do a lot." — Mandy B., Saint Paul, Minnesota More from CafeMom: 13 Men Give Their Brutally Honest Thoughts About Marriage I cook dinners more since I get home first, but he always cleans up. We have a monthly house cleaner, but both do weekly spot cleaning and vacuuming together as needed. And I do most of the shopping because I can find better deals than he can. It seems like a fair division and we honestly haven’t had any disagreements about it in almost 10 years of marriage. I should ask him though if it feels fair or if he’s just been keeping his mouth shut all of these years because he’s a nice guy." — Laurie R., Abilene, Texas Like, I do the money stuff and I have a system that works for me. It isn’t what he’d do but it is MY THING, not his. So he has to zip it." — Susie K., San Diego, California More from CafeMom: 6 Household Chores That Are Much Harder Than They Seem This, along with not having to worry about birth control, are part of the lesbian benefit package." — Shiloh G., Iowa City, Iowa He would spend THE ENTIRE DAY cleaning the 5’ x 5’ bathroom. I ain’t got time to wait around for that. It’s like bathrooms are a black hole for men. What the HELL do they do in there??" — Jennifer K., Saint Paul, Minnesota
title: “How 11 Couples Stopped Fighting About Chores” ShowToc: true date: “2024-09-23” author: “Garnett Flanders”
According to that survey, sharing the chores fairly was considered more important to a happy marriage than shared political views, having interests in common, and even whether or not you make enough money. I totally get this. The thing about chores is that they are never done. No matter how many times you clean, you’re never done. Things will get messy again, laundry will need to be folded, dishes will need to be washed — for the rest of your life. So feeling like you are the only one standing in the way of your home’s descending into squalor — yes, I have young children, why do you ask? — can be a totally frustrating and fight-worthy experience. But there is hope — at least according to the 11 women we talked to who have figured out a way to end the chore wars with their partners. Read on for some totally steal-worthy ideas and to know that you aren’t alone if you’ve ever contemplated divorce at the sight of a sink filled with someone else’s chin whiskers. For example, I don’t mind leaving dishes for the morning. Andrew can’t stand that. So he does the dishes and sometimes gets mad that he is always doing them, but if he left them, I’d do them while I am waiting for the coffee to brew and the dogs are having breakfast. I work all damn day, I just need a break in the evening. We both work very hard and deserve the right to do chores when we individually have the energy. Overall, it works out great, but if either of us were super controlling or type A, this would probably not work." — Andrea P., Albany, New York Our rule since the week we moved in is that we don’t do anything on the weekend until the house is cleaned first. If one of us has a thing he or she wants to do on a Saturday morning, then he or she needs to get up and [start] cleaning early. Both of us have to be cleaning by 9 a.m. if there is still work to be done. We are kind of hard-core about it, but it works for us." — Amy T., Phoenix, Arizona More from CafeMom: 8 Tips for Splitting Housework With Your Husband to Avoid Fights So each partner and the kids see that area of home life as that partner’s area, and the other does not have to even worry about it or think about it. For example, maybe Dad always does baths, or loads the dishwasher. So we have clear expectations about who is doing what." — Lexi S., Maplewood, Minnesota Also, whoever cooks, the other cleans up. And we have the kids do a lot." — Mandy B., Saint Paul, Minnesota More from CafeMom: 13 Men Give Their Brutally Honest Thoughts About Marriage I cook dinners more since I get home first, but he always cleans up. We have a monthly house cleaner, but both do weekly spot cleaning and vacuuming together as needed. And I do most of the shopping because I can find better deals than he can. It seems like a fair division and we honestly haven’t had any disagreements about it in almost 10 years of marriage. I should ask him though if it feels fair or if he’s just been keeping his mouth shut all of these years because he’s a nice guy." — Laurie R., Abilene, Texas Like, I do the money stuff and I have a system that works for me. It isn’t what he’d do but it is MY THING, not his. So he has to zip it." — Susie K., San Diego, California More from CafeMom: 6 Household Chores That Are Much Harder Than They Seem This, along with not having to worry about birth control, are part of the lesbian benefit package." — Shiloh G., Iowa City, Iowa He would spend THE ENTIRE DAY cleaning the 5’ x 5’ bathroom. I ain’t got time to wait around for that. It’s like bathrooms are a black hole for men. What the HELL do they do in there??" — Jennifer K., Saint Paul, Minnesota
