I don’t think I could because every time I had to give someone my address, I would giggle. Or blush. I know, maybe I have an immature sense of humor, like a 13 year-old boy, but isn’t saying you live in Horneytown, North Carolina funny? So in the hopes of making you giggle, chuckle, or just plain laugh out loud, below is a list of 20 towns whose names may give you pause, along with some of each town’s imagined characteristics:

  1. Climax, Georgia: Had to institute a city-wide noise ordinance because the townsfolk were so loud.
  2. Horneytown, North Carolina: Largest users of condoms in the US.
  3. Intercourse, Pennsylvania: The town center is located where Snatch Street intersects with Wee Willy Way.
  4. Bald Knob, Arkansas: Where manscaping was invented.
  5. Blue Ball, Pennsylvania: Population is primarily female with a few male masochists. Located a long 80 miles from Climax, Pennsylvania.
  6. French Lick, Indiana: Town founded by a Parisian Madame who made her fortune by inventing the bestselling Mini Tongue sex toy.
  7. Dickshooter, Idaho: Men are required to wear Kevlar-coated pants due to a history of attacks by disgruntled female snipers.
  8. Fidelity, Missouri: Receives a large annual influx of married couples relocating from Hooker, California.
  9. Onancock, Virginia: Town motto is “Better to be Onancock, Virginia than near Mianus, Connecticut.”
  10. Big Beaver, Pennsylvania: No vaginal labioplasty surgeries going on here.
  11. Erect, North Carolina: Viagra isn’t sold in any of the town’s pharmacies. No erectile dysfunction among the male population.
  12. Beaver, Arkansas: Located just north of Taint.
  13. Cumming, Georgia: Unexplained tremors regularly jolt the town. And the citizens are always happy.
  14. Conception, Missouri: Birth control is outlawed here.
  15. Three Legs Town, Ohio: Also known as Tripodville.
  16. Nuttsville, Virginia: Male citizens have an uncontrollable urge to put their hands down their pants. And it’s not frowned upon.
  17. Big Bone Lick, Kentucky: Large percentage of male residents have penile dysmorphic disorder. And a relentless desire to consume big Popsicles.
  18. Fort Dick, California: Home of the largest manufacturer of male chastity belts.
  19. Moorhead, Minnesota: Sister city to Dildo, Newfoundland, who gifted the phallic sculpture that sits in the Moorhead town square.
  20. Finger, Tennessee: Also known as Thirdbase City. Does your town’s name have a funny double meaning? Image via Luke Wisley/Flickr

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