She went on to acknowledge that reading that might cause some followers to feel “disgusted thinking, ‘how the hell can someone dislike their own children?’ I know, it’s effed up, which is why it took me so long to tell anybody about it.” So instead, she opted to remain silent, smile for photos, hide her true thoughts, muster false admiration when someone else would fawn over them. “I cried often, most of the day actually. I questioned my sanity and constantly berated myself for being such a shitty person,” she wrote. “I screamed, I hid, I let them cry and pulled my hair out. I didn’t want them anymore. I didn’t want them.” Jenkins explained that her husband “didn’t know” because he was gone with work often and she feared that he’d regret having children with her if she shared the truth. “One day I decided I wasn’t going to get them out of their cribs,” Jenkins recalled. “I was going to leave them there, let them cry and soil themselves. I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. I tried to care. I COULDN’T care.” That is when she opted to do something else instead: call her doctor’s office. She told the receptionist she didn’t want to be a mom anymore, and she was told to come into the office immediately, and she did. Props to Jenkins — and all brave, outspoken moms — for getting real about PPD. As the blogger and her commenters point out, it is so helpful for those who are struggling to know they’re not alone. The more we all speak about it and support one another, the better off all moms and their little ones will be.
